Leaving Again for SMP: "A Year Has Passed Since I Wrote My Note"

THE SUMMIT MUSIC PROJECT 2011

Hello everyone,

It is now July 8th, 2011, and I am already/suddenly scheduled to depart again for Washington today (July 10th), in another attempt to summit the Cascades. Before I deem that the only moral to this story though, I would like to express my regret in not keeping this blog updated throughout the past year. You see, I've had many ups-and-downs, and as goes the nature of anything extravagant that one may find themselves trying to accomplish in life, there have been far more downs. Still, we all know how in fashion that is for me, considering how Murphy's Law seems to come extra crispy for Dean's life pursuits. So, I decided to plow forward as much as possible rather than sit and dwell, publicly, for long periods of time. In hindsight, perhaps that wasn't the best idea either, considering how many negative aspects I'm left to recall now in one shot. ;)

Now that the trip has arrived, it will be crucial that I keep each one of these blog entries short if I am going to succeed with the project--but this entry will be excluded from that rule. I have a lot of catching up to do here. Also, the only way to really update you (this blog) on what has happened up to now is to basically vent a lot of frustration, due to the negative nature of my present circumstance, but I don't want any readers to take this the wrong way. I'm not writing about all of this because I'm being apocalyptic, I'm just updated you on what is happening, internally and externally, in the most honest way that I can. And again, I'm not keeping this journal to entertain, nearly as much as I'm keeping it as a record. This is a project, not a pretty travel log. ;)

But if you really can't stand my negative musings, just skip past it to the bottom where I briefly touch on the positive aspects of my coming voyage.

So basically, the last time I was getting ready to write an entry on here, I had just finished living a mini lifetime, staying with a Navajo family for six weeks during the Best Of Both Worlds Project in October-November, 2010. So much happened during that six week period that I'm sure I subconsciously sabotaged myself from writing about it because of how ominous and/or difficult a task it might be to express successfully. A lot happened, and it was quite miraculous actually--but that's definitely not the full story.

I WILL write about it with more detail and give it it's own entry as soon as I'm done with my Summer objectives in the immediate. In a nutshell, regarding the Navajo project: Don (the native flute player) and I went through hell and heaven during my visit, trying to successfully complete our project together. We went through serious danger and hardship, and through it all we managed to succeed--only to have all of our efforts destroyed at the end of my stay when someone broke into my car and happened to steel the one bag that held all of our footage.

We were all devastated. Practically a whole community of us. But as that very community is learning about me, these types of events are never an invitation for me to give up. I'm a stubborn bastard for good ideas. That may even be my undoing someday.

So, as it stands, I will be going back next Spring to do it all again with them, this time for a far more compressed period, considering that it will be a part of my bigger continued adventure, Travels Rendered. TR was another thing I had to put off this year, because it would have gotten in the way of my prep for the Cascades this Summer. So I will now be driving all over the Southwest one more time next year for TR, making music in both strange and familiar places, thus it's important that I try to finish the Washington cascades this Summer to make room.

(TO THE ORDER AT HAND - THE S.M.P. 2011)

Thus, I've been prepping for this stupendous task, The Summit Music Project 2011, where I will attempt to summit Mt. Hood, Rainier, Shasta, Adams, and St. Helens and make live ambient music at the top. The only problem is, my worst character flaws have gotten in the way of this, again, and as a result I am not NEARLY as prepared as I should be. I just can't seem to outrun my knack for distraction. Not only is this scary, but I'm starting to experience the same self-loathing I began feeling last year after realizing that I hadn't put enough effort into my prep for those summit attempts. I mean, this is getting ridiculous; I've had a whole year to prepare, and I'm looking at myself right now and shaking my head. I am physically ready, but there is still tons of creative and organizational work to be done, and now with only days left to do it. Impossible. I simply can't do within a couple of days what would usually take at least a couple of months to do. I simply can't.

Still, I don't want to get too down on myself about it, considering how many factors occurred over the last year that were out of my control. After the theft of my drives last Fall, I returned to LA only to experience a hard drive crash with my backup drive here at home. Having now completely lost two years of work (and adventure), I took measures to recover that data, which required time and money. Then, when the new year rolled around, I hooked up with friends and colleagues whom I would usually work with, not realizing that taking even one of the remaining 5 months I had was going to be detrimental. I even spent a considerable amount of time setting up a music tour for Vic Hennegan and I, which I thought would take much less time than it did.

Plus, the long-awaited relaunch of my record label, Fateless Music was more eminent than ever before after acquiring two new artists who were friends of mine that I respect artistically.

The pressure was on for me to finish the relaunch, so I floored the gas in trying to get our celebratory Fateless Compilation CD ready; unfortunately, most of the artists I had found for this compilation didn't place quite as much importance on it, and I was forced to have to create the extra music that was missing after most of them backed out without a word. Considering what a perfectionist I am, the time it took me to make that music was also detrimental to the project.

Next on the list was some added pressure of a long personal/family-drama issue I was having.  That didn't help with time much either.

And to cap it all off, my laptop hard drive finally died a few months ago, completely (which I had been previously unaware was a common and acceptable occurrence in the world), and with it, some of the music I was working on and all of the software I was dependent on for music and video production. Some of that crucial software I had bought, but the rest was mostly stuff that I got from friends, legally, with the exception of a few cracks.

It was disaster, and to make matters worse, Macintosh took four times longer than they were supposed to because every time I got the laptop back from them something else would be wrong with it that wasn't wrong before. Six some-odd weeks later the WHOLE laptop was fixed, but now I had to deal with replacing the software. That took easily another month to do because of the red tape of having to re-apply for the serial numbers to my previously owned programs, and having to transfer ownership of my newly-bought-used programs. Now I'm finally set up again with Logic, Reactor, Ableton, Modul8 and SnapzProX, but just in time to leave. NOT good. I've had hardly ANY time to set this stuff up for the trip, and now here I go.

It really ticks me because here I am, a single individual who's expected to be punctual about all things important to him, and because a few huge, reputable, corporate entities whom I depend on can't be punctual with me, I'm being screwed up and made to look bad in the process. And the worst part about that is how I seem to look even worse just talking about this... because, who the Hell am I to talk like this about huge corporate icons that we all worship and rely on?

Regardless of said external frustration, I still can't deny that the biggest obstacle I've failed to overcome here, is me; this has been for the age-old reason that I just can't seem to cure myself of the disease of having an inability to prioritize.

I mean sure, hanging out with people who don't really care about these projects doesn't help, and neither does all the corporate indifference I experienced, but the bottom line is that I let myself get distracted--again. It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from. And these mountains are way too hardcore and unsafe for me to be risking my life just to do something ill-prepared at the top. That's just absolutely friggin' preposterous! But if I fail again this year, I will have to try again next year and go through the whole thing again. At this rate, I won't be able to have my life back until years from now. The thought really s-cks! I will be uprooted, in transit, and practically transient, way past my genuine inspiration for the whole thing. Yay! ;) But whatever... that's cool...

And that said... THE POSITIVES:

All doom and gloom aside, I'm still looking forward to a Pacific-Northwest Summer spent with friends and mountains and forested places and new faces and musical expressions of it all. It will be filled with color, and both new feelings and old memories will be summoned in the process. So Hallelujah on that!

My first stop will be to visit a good friend and known musician, Robert Rich.  Lisa and I will stay with him one night and then off we go to the PNW.  I've actually even figured out a way to incorporate Robert into the project as a music collaborator.  It should prove interesting, if it works.

Lisa and I will do Mt. Rainier first, in less then a week. I've assembled a team of 5 for this, and Lisa will be one of the members. That does worry me a little. We'll be roped up and everything, because of how hardcore a mountain this is. It's the biggest, most dangerous and most glaciated mountain in the lower 48 states. But considering how compressed all the prep got got, we ran out of too much time to be able to do any other mountains first. We now have one day to train before our Rainier summit attempt starts on the 15th. Ouch. We will take 3 days to summit, and I have an acclimation tactic that should guarantee us a successful attempt, if nothing else gets in the way. The bottom line is, if I sense any unusual danger, which is apparently typical on Rainier, I will turn us back.

But if we make it to the top, and I create music successfully up there, this will be a REALLY BIG DEAL. It will be a true lifetime triumph, the likes of which few have ever experienced, even those who summit often. We are attempting the biggest achievement first, so wish us luck!!!

I'll let you know as soon as we are back at base level, which should be on-or-around July 19th.

Until then! Thanks everyone!

All the best,

Dean

P.S. Oh, and I forgot to mention: a few days ago I did my last training by climbing Mt. Baldy again and trying to make some beta-testing music at the top.  The mountain was beautifully awesome, but the music I made came out horribly, just like the first time I was there.  This shows me how much time I still have to make for sound tweaking and set-up prior to arriving at Rainier in 5 days.  Not only that, but while I was there I decided to make my training more rigorous by following an aesthetically pleasing stream most of the way up to the summit; as a result, I twisted my ankle, badly, and then on the way back down I twisted it two more times.  It is now something short of sprained, and I hope it will heel considerably in 5 days.  I'll keep the hot and cold presses coming.